"Time is the cruelest teacher; first she gives the test, then she teaches the lesson"- Unknown
When this deployment first started, I was bracing myself for 18 month. That hit me like a load of bricks. I couldn't even talk to my husband about it for two days. For some reason, the thing I thought about most was that I was 32 and when he came back, I would be 34. I realized that we wouldn't be able to have a baby of our own together for what sounded like such a long time.
One of the greater disappointments for me to deal with during the deployment was the over all sense of the loss of time. Think of all the things that happen in a year plus of time, you know? You can't get time back, not even by grieving its loss. Poof! Every second that passes is just gone. Mason Cooley said "regret for wasted time is more wasted time." And he's right- you can sure waste a lot of time simply waiting for the time to pass. Looking back, I wonder if I wasted too much time idling my engine.
Now, just simply as it began, all that time is behind us. What seems like it will never end when you are enduring, well, it will end, my friend. So keep looking forward, but not so much that you don't stop to consider the lessons you are learning along the way.
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3 comments:
I know you havent posted in many, many months now. But we have not forgotten you. I still check on your blog regularly hoping to hear from you.
I hope all is well and may God be with you this holiday season.
Hey! Just stopping by to let you know about a post on my blog that I thought you might enjoy. It's about romance for military couples! http://loveactually-blog.blogspot.com/2009/05/military-romance.html
I read this, and it really hit close to home for me. This is my fiance's second deployment. This time is harder for us, because he was only back for the summer and then it was back to school for me. After I went back to college, I found out he would be deploying again in a few months.
I spent so much time dwelling what was to come and trying to cover up these feelings and stay strong instead of recognizing them, that it just made things worse.
What you said is so true, "regret for wasted time is more wasted time." This is one of the things I struggle with.
I feel I truly supported him through the first deployment and it made our relationship so much stronger! but this one seems so much harder. I'm currently completing my college placement, and my family was recently posted (their military as well) so I'm doing my placement for school here with my parents across the country. I feel that I'm really lacking any kind of stability in my life. I just want to let you know that your blogs really touched me!
You're a strong girl, and thank you for the reassuring words. It's comforting to know that others are going through the same thing!
Communication is limited right now, as my fiance is really busy. Your blogs have really helped me. Thank you!
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